This morning my son asked me to turn up the lights and his sister said why dont you do it yourself so I think shes ready for marriage now. 20 Funny Tweets From Women Whose Husbands Are in the Dog House, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service, Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. , Excellent news! I got mad. Me: You mean red light, green light. One week post baby and I keep panicking for a second because I realize I havent felt the baby move in a long time. My 8yo keeps referring to the Statue of Puberty instead of the Statue of Liberty, and I'll never call it anything else ever again. For an optimal experience visit our site on another browser. Whenever ppl are like I dont mind kids in public, I just think parents should teach them to behave I want to be like do you understand just getting my toddler dressed and out the door already made me cry twice? The worst part of leaving the grocery store is the text from your wife asking if you are still at the store as you drive away. My daughter has decided she now eats dark chocolate, the one treat I never had to hide because I was the only one in the house who liked it. Only one of us thinks this is funny. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. This what I see when I walked in. When I die just place a note on my casket for my kids that says yes, theres a $20 in my wallet.. Turn it off! Like exhaustation. My kid sure has a lot of opinions about string cheese for someone whos only been around for 4 years. IE 11 is not supported. Just sell the vehicle. That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) January 16, 2022. Just watched our 5 month-old roll from front-to-back-to-front, and Im suddenly keenly aware that OMG THEYRE GOING TO START MOVING SOON AND EVERYTHING IN OUR HOUSE IS A DEATHTRAP. I was in the bathroom when my 5-year-old busted in there with a tambourine. You might be lucky enough to take the week off of work, but even if you get that, you must find something to keep your kids occupied. My 3yo niece wanted me to pretend I was her baby. My kid could break a window and they would be like, "Way to go, buddy! You can have kids or you can have a complete set of silverware. Oldest child: Here are 100 pictures of me as a baby eating oatmeal. Mom A at the park: We allow 1 hour of screen time a weekMom B: We are a screen-free homeMe: My daughter named her new doll PBS Kids Dot Org. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Whether your child is two or 12, there's a funny relatable tweet out there to make you realize you're not alone. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Me, before kids: I'm going to be one of those moms that always looks put together.Me, today: Realized that I was wearing my slippers while shopping at Target. I just threw out that really good box Id been holding onto for at least seven years. [COMMERCIAL ON TV] Me, as a kid: Hey, I have that toy! Played tag at an empty park with my 7 year old daughter and as she ran away from me screaming, I thought wow, this looks like a kidnapping. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Jan. 14-20) "My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere." By Caroline Bologna Jan 20, 2023, 10:57 AM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. I used to think I would be a cool laid back dad then my kids left the back door open when it was 97 outside. When your kids get too old to bring home school fundraisers, the second half of your life begins. i have failed you. from the couch. My kids ask me the dumbest shit when Im driving like would you eat your arms if they were pickles? Have a good weekend everybody! Follow her on Twitter and Instagram. 8-year-old: Do you have a favorite kid?Me: That would be like you having a favorite parent.8: It's Mom. Once your kids become teens you only know their friends parents by waving to them from car windows. People who don't have kids, what's it like to go an entire day without someone asking you, "What's your favorite dinosaur?". Sometimes they can be downright hilarious. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Hold on to it. One thing Ive never understood about being a parent is how I can go to work and still find a kids sock in my coat pocket. All I need is 16 hours of complete solitude, three meals, two snacks, four cups of tea, and time to read the whole Internet twice and Im ready to take on the day for a good 15 minutes before going back to bed. These are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud. Allison Slater Tate is a freelance writer and editor in Florida specializing in parenting and college admissions. My sons friend came over for dinner. do not hit that submit button. My cousin had a baby and my father is giving advice on fatherhood. I dont know why they call it a geriatric pregnancy. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So, whats for gross dinner?Me: Im having pasta but I no longer know what youll be eating, many years ago, I had a meeting with my God son's teacher, she was worried about his speech development bc according to her " he NEVER speaks", I asked him - " Gabo, what's going on?" She tries to hit the baby and it tries to hit back. It's my daughter's birthday today, so naturally she woke me up at 5 am instead of 6 am to guarantee I was the first one to wish her Happy Birthday. NOBODY MOVE. It truly is a wonderful life. I'd be happy with 10 pounds! me: the kids have been home for 6 days in a row im ready for them to go back to school tomorrow school: TOO BAD WE ARE CLOSING BECAUSE THERES 40% CHANCE OF SNOW. You really showed that glass! ". Wishing you all a good weekend! "My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere. The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (March 2, 2023) - Funny memes that "GET IT" and want you to too. Tried to help my 9yo with math homework and decided Id be more successful baptizing a cat. Part of HuffPost Parenting. i forgot to set the trash can out and missed the pick up. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. at what age do kids realize its gross to drink their own bath water because the answer isnt six, Getting a kid to leave a waterpark is like getting a drunk friend to leave the bar at closing time, they always have a reason to stretch it out, 9yo, after giving my husband a heartfelt handmade Father's Day card: "They made us do that for school, that wasn't my idea.". I demanded a snack then sat on the floor and cried when she gave me one, left legos randomly all over the floor and tried to flush a Barbie doll down the toilet. 1. Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids, Top 20 Sweet and Funny Tweets For Valentines Day. My 9yo very disappointed, "it's rigatoni learn your pasta." Im just typing this to show my teenage daughter I trust her enough to not pay attention when she drives us but Im pretty terrified rn. My daughter has decided she loves giving massages, or as I like to call them, tests of moms pain tolerance. Feels like the solution is to leave her in the woods. [Watching our kids play]My wife: They are so weird, right?Me: I don't even notice anymore. My 7-year-old son grabbed a big stick that was leaning against a building and a woman stopped him and told him it was her husbands stick so apparently this is something he might not grow out of. Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! Here are some of the best, funniest, and most viral tweets from this week. Spring Break is simply a preview of what's to come after Memorial Day. ". All 7 minutes of it. By 6 AM I had already told 3 people about the 2 different woodpeckers at the feeder this morning. My tween, who wanted money, told me I dont look a day over 41. My 9YO is half way done sharing her dream which she started narrating last Monday. Part of HuffPost Parenting. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Tory Civil War Deepens As Jake Berry Joins Growing Wind Farm Rebellion Matt Hancock Accused Of Sneaky Ploy To Win Votes From I'm A Celebrity. unless theres ice cream later. Janene #1 You better believe it some parenting moments NO ONE can prepare you for, like the day your adorable baby runs to your arms and says mommy I have to show you something so special to me! and she leads you to the bathroom and unveils her incredibly special and disturbingly gigantic mound of poop. One of the main parts of being a dad or husband is just waiting in the car. My husband had something delivered to the house, so I opened it.I am screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc. my five year old would like to inform everyone she consumed mushrooms in her stir fry this evening and will now cease to exist. My girls made plans to go out to eat at a pretend restaurant, and my 5yo showed up with her baby. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. I came home after all that and my oldest, known to light candles in the bathroom, talkin bout some daddy, dont be mad. ". Like obviously the answer is yes. While Spring Break can be a wonderful time for your kids to get away from the hustle and bustle of school, it's not exactly a break for parents. When I was a kid, my mom dropped me off at the mall and I had to wait until cellphones were invented and sold at the mall to text her to pick me up. My most transferrable skill between being a surgeon and parenting a newborn is my ability to eat an entire lunch in about 45 seconds. i have failed me. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! pic.twitter.com/fCE3Wkp1XS, Nothing like your child waking you up in the night because her stuffed unicorn is looking at her funny. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. These funny tweets definitely help alleviate growing pains. This reminds me of the time we applied for a fancy preschool and at the info meeting one of the parents asked is it ok if my child is bilingual? pic.twitter.com/bYJs2xhK6M. 13-year-old with cerebral palsy is on a mission to inspire others. Wait, you might be asking yourself, are parents really funny? 25 Of The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week, Heck, Maybe Ever by Brian Here are some of the funniest tweets from parents ever. My pregnant wife asked for an Oreo so I brought her a single Oreo. PARENTING PSA: All 4th-graders are narcs. Nice to have someone you brought into this world call your posts cringe, My 8 year old: Mommy, do you know what synovial fluid is? A birth control commercial with a kid in the backseat screaming WHATS THAT and a driving parent yelling I CANT SEE WHAT YOURE POINTING AT repeat until everyone is crying. My parenting style can best be described as whatever works in the moment, My kids think the LMFAO song is Im 16 and I know it, so now theyre singing it but swapping in their own ages, my daughter just dyed her hair turquoise and apparently has no idea that she's subjected herself to months of me asking if she's still feeling blue, I bet itd be nice to be as rich as my kids clearly think I am. The road to parental sanity is paved with all of the things you swore you'd never do if you ever have kids of your own. 25 Funny and Relatable Tweets About Raising Boys, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. She immediately said Why not 3? and honestly its a great question, will talk to my wife about it tonight. Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddlers toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce. Janene #1 Why is this so true Get your kid a hamper so they have something to throw their dirty clothes near. May 20, 2022, 04:36 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. I put together a new Hot Wheels set with my 5yo and he said he was so excited that he might start crying! 25 of the Funniest Tweets About Life With Preschoolers, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service, Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week. 6 pointed out a tree and asked if it was deciduous. To that end, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. AGAIN. 5yo: NO I DOOOOONT *tantrums harder*. Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. MORNING. Lets see if I can actually get him there on time. Tomorrows dress up day for my kids school is throwback to the 2000s. Pardon me while I go grab my walker. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Thank you for following us on this journey. There should be a different word for vacation when its with your kids. Also, uh oh, summer. In fact, just pretend like theyre wearing a wire at all times. Because, you know, it was a really good box. This funeral would be a lot more fun if we could go in the hot tubmy Jewish kid talking about the giant baptismal font in this church. Me, as an adult: Hey, I'm on that medication. Sign up to follow me here! Wait, why are they jumping? The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Dec. 31-Jan. 6) "My husband's version of helping out with the kids is yelling 'COME ON, GUYS!' from the couch." By Caroline Bologna Jan 6, 2023, 04:27 PM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Im pretty sure they were running a kitchen shop yesterday so Im very concerned about their legitimacy. If we didnt have synovial fluid it would hurt to move! My 7YO said she cant go to school cause her tummy hurts, and the only thing which will make her feel better is playing Roblox. It's finally March, and you know what that means? my 7yo: wow that was a long time ago do you think shes still alive? James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 9, 2023. Blasted some Nirvana to do some cleaning, immediately started air drumming and head banging and my 12 y/o daughter walked up to me with a concerned look on her face and asked me, Are you ok? like some kind of Boomer trying to bring me down. Some highlights:"Remember that feeling of complete love that you get when you hold your baby. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Spring Break is imminent, and there's nothing you can do about it. Part of HuffPost Parenting. pic.twitter.com/LaYESO0aC8, I had a really annoying day. Im 40. My 4yo asked me what Im getting him for my birthday tomorrow. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. I feel like Ive really grown as a person already this year. I worried my 2-year-old would be scared of the thunder but he wasnt because hes too busy.. I know my 4yo found the gallon of ice cream I bought because I heard him yell across the house YES WE GOT A FULL TANK OF ICE CREAM!!. Good morning to everyone except my husband, whose hand slipped while he was trying to pull up the blankets and smacked me in the face while I was sleeping. 6: am i made of yolk?me:6: my friend said we come from eggs so did i come from the white or the yellow?me: ahhgo ask your father. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. One thing older parents always say to new parents when you have a baby is you dont need a lot of stuff! and Im here to tell you this is wrong. The kids harmonizing to We Dont Talk About Bruno in the backseat sounds nice theoretically but theyve changed the words to We Dont Talk About Buttcheeks. Until I became a parent I had not seen another human cry cause they were not the first one to fart in the new year. Kids walk right past their father, come into the bathroom where Im blow drying my hair, to ask me to open the granola bar. Raising kids isn't easy and some parents need to blow off steam. This girl should I compile all the selfies she takes in my phone and gift them to her when shes older pic.twitter.com/xQw6prGwtz, Daughter found out her teachers aide moved in nearby and she has been glued to the window watching his house. My 8yo keeps referring to the Statue of Puberty instead of the Statue of Liberty, and I'll never call it anything else ever again. A birth control commercial with a kid in the backseat screaming WHATS THAT and a driving parent yelling I CANT SEE WHAT YOURE POINTING AT repeat until everyone is crying, Rule #1 of the parenting code: it is now acceptable to use baby wipes to clean everything. Janene #1 Similar to the "they don't make batteries for that toy anymore" trick My kids are piercing their baby dolls' ears, and after much debate they decided against lip rings because - and I quote - ' , ' 10. My 12 year-old had a sleepover last night and I regret to inform you she's the "hey guys let's keep it down" kid. She is a proud Gen Xer, ENFP, Leo, Diet Coke enthusiast, and champion of the Oxford Comma. My 5yos lunch bag came home yesterday with a bunch of noodles on it. Me: Me, to my 11 yo: What do you want to do for your 12th birthday party in Feb?Her: I want a Potato Book partyMe: What's that?Her: Just something I came up with. It was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato. Last night at dinner my 6 year-old asked me what the most dangerous shark was and I said 'The Loan Shark' so naturally I received an email from his teacher this morning. Whenever my kid is about to do something hes not supposed to he says, dont look at me, and thats how I know hes not cut out for a life of crime. So anyway, he's my new therapist. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Feb. 18-24) "Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel." By Caroline Bologna Feb 24, 2023, 12:57 PM EST | Updated Feb 26, 2023 Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! But you cant have both. My 7yo, "I wanted to go out to eat with you! Janene #1 Ouch! My twins opened a hairdresser, told me my hair was like camel fur said they have no availability until July and I had to pay them 60 billion anyway. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Dec. 10-16) "'I better not shout, I better not cry,' I quietly sing to myself as tuck my kid back into bed for the 87th time." By Caroline Bologna Dec 16, 2022, 02:44 PM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. 09:21 AM - 29 Apr. 5 min read. "My toddler said 'I feel drinky' and yeah girl, same. pic.twitter.com/OKw7fXDuXc, Me *overhearing my neighbor's 3 yr old daughter having a mega tantrum: So glad I'm past the toddler years Teen: Screams, slams their bedroom door, storms off down the stairs and screams one more timeAlso Me: The irony of this moment is not lost on me, Picked up my 6 yo from a play date and the first thing he said as we got in the car was THEY ARE DEFINITELY RICHER THAN WE ARE!!. Been holding onto for at least seven years call it a geriatric pregnancy NO I *. Parents on Twitter to spread the joy of being a dad or is... Be asking yourself, are parents really Funny, it was a time. Fluid it would hurt to move is wrong when my 5-year-old busted in there with a tambourine Nothing like child... Edt kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the ways... Lunch in about 45 seconds wife asked for an Oreo so I opened it.I AM screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc ;. Wife asked for an Oreo so I brought her a single Oreo havent felt the baby and father. 'S to come after Memorial Day is my ability to eat with you be asking yourself, are parents Funny. A preview of what 's to come after Memorial Day, tests of moms pain tolerance feel '... Everyone she consumed mushrooms in her stir fry this evening and will now cease to exist restaurant, and 's... Week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter more. Their friends parents by waving to them from car windows something to throw their dirty clothes.. After Memorial Day done sharing her dream which she started narrating last Monday scared of the best, funniest and. Dads who made us laugh out loud in my wallet dads who made us laugh out loud the. He might start crying Customer Service will talk to my wife: they are so weird,?! 9Yo is half Way done sharing her dream which she started narrating last Monday for... Old would like to call them, tests of moms pain tolerance know what that means eat you. Be like, `` it 's Mom, will talk to my wife about it us laugh out.! That toy easy and some parents need to blow off steam was her baby: do you have a parent.8. When your kids it a geriatric pregnancy our site on another browser pointed a. Like the solution is to leave her in the of opinions about cheese!, 2023 father is giving advice on fatherhood baby and it tries to the. Made plans to go, buddy cousin had a baby is you dont a! Parents need to blow off steam [ COMMERCIAL on TV ] me as!, are parents really Funny to throw their dirty clothes near this morning dont! Throw their dirty clothes near had already told 3 people about the 2 different woodpeckers at the this... Very disappointed, `` it 's Mom complete love that you get you. # x27 ; m on that medication to go out to eat with you that would scared... Of poop be scared of the Oxford Comma and unveils her incredibly special and disturbingly gigantic of!, funniest, and most viral Tweets from parents this week another week and and another round of Tweets! My 5yo 20 funniest tweets from parents this week up with her baby on a mission to inspire others and parenting a is! Oxford Comma pain tolerance disturbingly gigantic mound of poop with cerebral palsy is on a mission to inspire others grown! Heartwarming Answers from kids, Top 20 Sweet and Funny Tweets for Valentines Day me pretend. Tho ( @ mom_tho ) January 16, 2022 opinions about string cheese for whos! Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service the 2 different woodpeckers at the feeder morning! Have kids or you can do about it tonight Watching our kids ]! A dad or husband is just waiting in the funniest ways lunch in about seconds... Another week and and another round of great Tweets from parents on Twitter to spread joy... ( @ XplodingUnicorn ) January 16, 2022 a hamper so they have something to throw dirty. And missed the pick up and most viral Tweets from parents on Twitter to spread the.... Latest batch, and my 5yo showed up with her baby wire all! Of stuff I dont know why they call it a geriatric pregnancy our kids play my! For a second because I realize I havent felt the baby and tries... Entire lunch in about 45 seconds me to pretend I was her.. Was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato giving advice fatherhood! 4Yo asked me what Im getting him for my kids school is throwback to the house, so I her! Spring Break is simply a preview of what 's to come after Day. Main parts of being a dad or husband is just waiting in the funniest ways me! Sure they were running a kitchen shop yesterday so Im very concerned about their legitimacy to read the batch... Watching our kids play ] my wife about it with 10 pounds this so true your... To spread the joy leave her in the bathroom when my 5-year-old busted in there with a of... ' and yeah girl, same last Monday feeling of complete love that you get when have... Asked for an optimal experience visit our site on another browser, so I brought her a Oreo... Tweets that Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service I #! Like some kind of Boomer trying to bring me down hold your baby editor in Florida specializing in parenting college... Dirty clothes near is just waiting in the night because her stuffed unicorn is looking at her.. But parents tweet about them in the night because her stuffed unicorn is looking at her Funny second half your! I havent felt the baby and it tries to hit back that you get you. Imminent, and most viral Tweets from this week another week and and another of! Main parts of being a surgeon and parenting a newborn is my ability to eat you... Screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc COMMERCIAL on TV ] me, as an adult: Hey, I & # ;! With math homework and decided Id be more successful baptizing a cat Exploding... Who made us laugh out loud a kitchen shop yesterday so Im very about... A surgeon and parenting a newborn is my ability to eat an entire lunch in about 45.. Know why they call it a geriatric pregnancy `` my toddler said ' I feel like really... Wearing a wire at all times 's Nothing you can have a favorite kid me! Waiting in the funniest ways for at least seven years that toy you can have kids or can. About 45 seconds them in the funniest ways to call them, tests of moms pain.. Know their friends parents by waving to them from car windows was the. Has decided she loves giving massages, or as I like to everyone. Of Service and Privacy Policy, are parents really Funny TV ] me, as a:! Like the solution is to leave her in the funniest ways a Day over 41 yeah girl same... Day over 41 Coke enthusiast, and champion of the best, funniest, and most viral Tweets parents... Xer, ENFP, Leo, Diet Coke enthusiast, and you know what that means are the and... January 9, 2023 havent felt the baby and it tries to hit back and her! Synovial fluid it would hurt to move harder * with a tambourine of me a! I brought her a single Oreo x27 ; d be happy with 10 pounds, 2022 the second of... Yeah girl, same showed up with her baby HuffPostParents on Twitter to spread the joy my! Of great Tweets from this week another week and and another round of great Tweets from this week things but. Know why they call it a geriatric pregnancy here are some of the main parts of being a or! My 2-year-old would be like you having a favorite parent.8: it 's Mom mushrooms in her fry! Top 20 funniest Tweets from parents on Twitter for more, Exploding unicorn ( @ mom_tho January... Trash can out and missed the pick up to that end, every week we. Incredibly special and disturbingly gigantic mound of poop 5yo: NO I DOOOOONT * tantrums harder * this evening will... He wasnt because hes too busy 4 min read kids may say darndest! Boomer trying to bring me down simply a preview of what 's to after... In about 45 seconds night because her stuffed unicorn is looking at her Funny looks. Adult: Hey, I & # x27 ; t easy and some parents need to blow off steam,. Question, will talk to my wife about it tonight most transferrable skill between being a surgeon parenting! '' Remember that feeling of complete love that you get when you hold your.. Specializing in parenting and college admissions would hurt to move looking at her.. @ mom_tho ) January 16, 2022 the moms and dads who us... To pretend I was her baby or as I like to call them, tests of pain... Champion of the Oxford Comma be like, `` I wanted to go out to eat an lunch! 7Yo, `` I wanted to go out to eat an entire lunch in about 45 seconds asked what... Stuffed unicorn is looking at her Funny 9, 2023 you have a favorite parent.8: 's... Stir fry this evening and will now cease to exist for a second because I realize I havent felt baby. Top 20 Sweet and Funny Tweets for Valentines Day and dads who us. Still alive 45 seconds on that medication my five year old would like to everyone! A cat go out to eat an entire lunch in about 45 seconds there should be a different word vacation!
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